“You’re still single?”

As a twenty-nine year old single, you get asked questions.. a lot of pointless questions. “Why are you single?” “You’re still single? What is wrong with you?” “Online dating may be the way to go!” For the most part, I answer them with a shrug of the shoulders or my favorite line ‘I don’t know’, in all honesty I don’t know, I don’t know why I’m still single or ever dated.. Well unless I count that week in fifth grade when I dated Rex Murphy, he even gave me his fake gold chain necklace.. Yeah, fake gold necklace ladies.  However, with the online question I can answer that.  They were all creepiers for some reason… Thanks eHarmony! My 25 characteristics bring all the creepiers to the yard!

Maybe I’m still single because I seriously don’t know how to act normal around a guy that I find attractive, flirting and me just do NOT mix! I’m like an ill informed robot when it comes to seeing the signs and flirting.. To some me up I’m this:

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That is 100% junior high all over again me! Of course people always tell me to get out there and meet people, that is how to get a boyfriend.  I’m not doubting that at all, but where do I go? The clubs? Yeah, I’m sure I’ll find a nice guy who wants a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage.  I’m sure they exist at clubs, all the good ones are. Right? Also I’d like to inform the public that I dance horribly… So, if I’m at da club nobody would want my dance moves near them!

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Maybe another reason, as I’ve been told, is that I’m to picky.  Look, that may be the case, but I have my reasons. When the guys who actually flirt with me look like and act like Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice, I turn into Elizabeth Bennet and quote in my head;  

“I am perfectly serious in my refusal.  You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who could make you so.”  

If I’m to picky, then so be it, Lizzie was to and look how that turned out… Yes, I do know that is fiction.  Perfect example, last week I had to go make a key so like any other human, I went into True Value and did just that.  After waiting for a minute for the key maker to get to his station, he finally arrived and asked what I needed… I thought that was already made clear, when someone over the walkie told him and as I was also standing in front of the key making area.  But, I answered him anyway thinking maybe he to suffered from flirting problems.  I knew what I wanted, just a plain key,  nothing special with a sports team, flowers or as I was pointed out to me a banjo key.  But, he kept asking me questions on what type of key I wanted and then the questions turned odd…

“Do you have a favorite sports team?”
“Do you like music? We have banjo key styles, I like those.”
“Do you have a favorite flower?”
“We have american flag keys, you like America right?”
“What is your favorite movie?”
“Did you knit your hat or buy it? I only ask, because I know a guy whose girlfriend knits hats.  She actually lives near here. I can give you her address and we could go over and see what kind of hat you’d like her to knit ya.”

“Oh we have gun keys… It would be like your shooting your lock!”
“Staying warm out there? You look chilly.”

I answered him as best as I could, but when he looked and acted like Mr. Collins, it was a bit hard.  My answers were direct and to the point:

“Yep. WSU and KSU.”
“I do like music. I’m good with not having a banjo key.”
“Not really.”
“Cool.  Eh, it’s okay….. I’m kidding!” (He did not think that was funny.)
“You have a Forrest Gump key?”
“Bought it.  No, I’m good. Yes, I’m sure. Yes, really sure.”
“Pew Pew.” (I had to explain the pew pew noise.)
“Yes. What??”

The “Mr. Collins” type must be what I’m destiny. Looking forward to that.

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In any case, I’m single and slightly okay with.. Not completely content, but okay.  I’m good being single for now and sometimes I think about wanting a boyfriend but I wouldn’t know want to do with him.  Maybe, as I sit here typing this while eating ice cream and watching the Doctor say goodbye to Rose for the millionth time, oh and crying of course, is another reason I’m single.  Or maybe, just maybe Benedict Cumberbatch has something to do with it…f2f6b24ad5a2e56af702a1f2cde6003c

Six years later…

To anyone, it’s just another bracelet, to me it holds so much more! After six years of wearing it, the fragile bracelet caught on a shelf at work and ripped.  I’ll be honest, I was a bit sad yet it also brought up a happy memory of how I received it.

During the month of October in 2008, I lived and helped out at Benito Juarez Children’s Home, basically mission work.  It was for only a month, but it was the best time of my life and so far nothing comes close to that experience. Before taking the step to do missions there for a month, I had gone there two years prior and every time was a new and different experience.  The kids alone are worth the while.  The last time I was there was in 2009, and I miss it dearly.  To better put into words what I’m trying to desperately say, I’ll share an update I wrote on October 17, 2008…

‘It sometimes doesn’t seem right that I come in with more than what these people will ever have. I’m discovering and witnessing things that I never have in the past when I come down with a group, some open my eyes and some bring tears into my eyes. They live a life that I personally would not want to live, but when you’ve known nothing else what do they care. Some know of this story because I wrote to those who have been writing me, and I thank you all very much for the random messages.

Sunday was a blessing from God and the only word I can describe that day was beautiful. This last weekend all the kids left to go see their families, which meant for me to get some much needed rest to get over a cold I gotten. The rest was needed and I got over a cold within a 48 hour period…A new record! Course the cold medicine I bought I think contained 85% alcohol. So I think that helped too! As the kids started coming back from seeing their families, most were ok as they got back in route in changing into a dress or a nice pair of jeans and shirt for service at 4. Others cling to their mom or dad for dear life to take them back home, that can’t be the case right now… When money is an issue and not enough food to feed all in the house, someone has to come here to get that. A sight I wish I would never have to see, but I’m glad I did in a weird way. It shows me just how blessed I really am, that no matter how bad it gets at home my parents will always be there and make sure I’m covered with the necessities.

A group came into visit that day as well, so we just worshiped that day. Right at 4:00 we started service, some kids were still coming in, they found their spot and got right into worship. Daniela found her spot next to me and wrapped her arms around my waist with tears in her eyes. Since the group was there Rene’ interrupted for Julio (he & his wife Blanca watch over the girls), he came up in the middle of the last song and said a statement that I will not forget. “When we sing to God he tells his angels to be silent for his sons and daughters are singing to him. You always praise me but right now my children are praising me. Be silent and listen to my children.” Soon after we started singing another song, it was a simple song that we all know by heart; Hallelujah. Simple word, simple song but it packs loves that know one can put their finger on. As Daniela clung to me crying, the Holy Spirit moving within these people, Maritza crying for her mom, and a beautiful statement that is true to the heart you can only guess what I was doing.

I cried, I cried like little baby before God. As I stood there, crying into Daniela’s hair she noticed because she looked at me with a confused look, then a look of understanding and hugged me tighter. I didn’t care what people thought of me, I didn’t care what I must have looked like, I cared what God was saying to me that afternoon. God gave me Mark 10:13-16, about Jesus and the little children, as I read this verse, they continued singing. God simply told me this: I’m Miguel holding and comforting Maritza, I’m Julio that loves these children so much he calls them his children, I’m Mark who took them in, I’m Blanca who is the mother to these girls, I’m Rosa who is the mother to these boys, I’m you who is comforting Daniela, I’m in all these people who open there arms and allow the child to come in and hold them tight. I’m the Father they will always have. Praise God! I never would have thought of that, but when God puts it in terms I can understand and shows me it all makes sense. 

Doesn’t seem like I’ve been here that long, yet in only a week and three days I will be returning home. I wish I was able to stay longer, but I know that my time here may be short but I learned, and hopefully helped out as much as possible. My Spanish isn’t great, but I’m speaking better with it. My straighter has made friends faster than I did, I fear my camera will blow up with these kids going crazy for it, and music is what these kids live for and when they found out my laptop contained a bucket load…They wanted it all! 

Music has been my friend on this trip, when in my free time I grab the current book I’m reading which happens to be Through Painted Deserts (finished 1984 last week), turn on the ol’ computer, plug in my head phones and listen to my tunes…From iTunes. Ha! For some unknown reason I’m finding that the country feel is the soundtrack of my time here. The cd’s I tend to go to are Cold Roses by Ryan Adams, Being There by Wilco, Seeing Things by Jakob Dylan, and American 6: The Man comes Around by Johnny Cash. I don’t know why country, but then I think this place here reminds me so much of home with the land so flat, people in cowboy boots, and a faint smell that ones whiffs and later wish they hadn’t. 

Yes it’s safe to say I’m at peace with being here, and I might find myself here again… But home is calling me first then I will embark either here or somewhere else God has lined up for me. But for right now I will enjoy every second I have left here and cherish each moment the way I was suppose to…With a smile!

Laters

When that week and three days arrived, it was time for me to leave.  Before I left, Maritza and Daniela came up to me and gave me that very bracelet, and I’ve been wearing it ever sense with that sweet memory.  To be completely honest, it’s been awhile sense I’ve felt God’s presence in my life, I’ve made choice’s and learning to forgive myself just like God has done.

Who would have a thought a bracelet would bring up all this…

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