When in doubt, creepier smile.

Have you ever been apart of something so embarrassing, that your only option is to just continue to do whatever it is your doing and you’re hoping the moment will pass without any further damage?  In my case this embarrassment happened twice, ironically with the same piece of object I happen to own.. Until today. If you go to my Facebook page, you’ll see this image as my profile picture:


I believe it’s captures my teeth well.  Anyway, my mom gave this to me because she thought it was funny, it is humorous and I laughed for to long when she gave it to me.  For reasons I can’t explain or in fact remember, I was cruising around the great city of Wichita with me holding this up to my face.  I got a laugh when I’d look over at people with this thing up to my face and see their horrified reactions.  That was until at this particular stop light, with my windows down, while listening to Will Smith’s ‘Gettin Jiggy With It’, that it went from good to great.  Not having gotten a good look at the car that was coming to a stop next to me, I whipped my head over to look into the eyes of a man who was slowly taking of his sunglasses to look at me with complete amusement.  I, realizing that I was staring at not one, but two cops, quickly pulled the creepier smile down and turned down my music.  The cop then rolled down his window, looked at me for a good minute and said this; “That was to good, my partner can’t stop laughing. Thanks.”  After the shock, I looked in the car and did indeed see the other cop laughing away.  He gave me a thumbs up and drove away, and I found myself in a situation of complete embarrassment that I’ve never felt before.  This even tops the time back in 06′ when I farted really loud and really long in front of people I didn’t even know were listening… Sadly this is a true story, their is more to it and I wasn’t the only girl to do it… You know who you are.

But as luck would have it, my embarrassment doesn’t end there.  Sometime in the chaos of me throwing down the creepier face, the little stick for me to hold broke.   It wasn’t to big of a deal, but I wanted to get a picture of this thing against my face to basically creep people out on Facebook.  When I got home, I had the brilliant idea to tape this thing to my face to get that picture.  As you can tell, it went well and I look so fab.  During this process, a knock was heard at my door and since the Beyer/Stephens residence doesn’t get much visitors, I jumped up to go get the door.   Even before I got to the door, I knew it was  a Jehovah’s Witness.. I’m not a wizard or anything, we have a glass door.  Being polite, I answered and the two guys were silent for the longest time, it was the best game of the quiet game I’ve ever played.  After the long period of silence, one of them finally starts to speak, giving the whole speech on how being a JW will make me whole and I could join them in Heaven or be apart of the new earth.  I opened my mouth to stop him, but the other guy just blurred out; “You know, we spend hours of our time to help people, to help them find their way and speak nothing but truth and love.  And you know how most people repay us, by rudeness to not even give us a chance.  You are by far the worst one we’ve come across. Why? What did we do to you? Don’t you want to go to His kingdom and live forever?”  The only thing I could reply back with was; “yes.”  It was awkward and I wanted it to end, however before I did I asked him what I did to offend him.  He shook his head and walked away, the other guy stood there for a minute then slowly lifted his hand to my face. I did the natural thing by bringing my head back, all to realized he was reaching for the creepier smile.  He gently pulled it off, handed it to me with my eyes wide and then said; “You didn’t know did you?” Shaking my head, he went on to say; “I figured, here is some material to read. This one is a particularly good read. Our Jehovah smiles down at you. Have a good day.”

Walking back into the living, I sat down and proceeded to post the picture.  Soon after I laughed so hard I cried and then I just cried and then I ate a pie.