Dinner Interrupted.

At the far end, out of the way of any other human life is where I usually am, in my favorite corner at my favorite Chipotle location. Alone to read and have a little moment to myself before going back to work. So when out of nowhere a lady plops down at my table uninvited bothered me.. A little.  I did an assessment of my surroundings and concluded that 95% of other tables were completely empty.  Continuing on through my assessment was how to handle this random lady sitting directly in front of me… Here were my findings:

Lady: “Sorry to interrupt and scare you, but I saw your name tag and noticed you work at SC and I need your advice on shoes and what would be the best shoe for my foot.  I’m on my feet all day, and they hurt all the time! So, can you help me?”

Throughout her whole speech, I stared at her.. Probably with my mouth open and wishing that I would have remembered to take off my lanyard! So the next words I speak are in a soft tone, so that way I don’t hurt her feelings.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m on my dinner break and would really like to not talk about shoes for 45 minutes. All I want is to enjoy my bowl full of goodness and read this book about Abe killing Vampires! And even though I’ve read it once before, it’s that entertaining.  I understand your problem and if you would like to meet me at 5p at SC I would be more then happy to help you.”

What happens next, was….wow.

Lady: “You know you are just horrible and extremely rude! If you didn’t want to help me then why did you wear your name tag thing?!? Oh, and do you think I’m stupid? Making up a book, just so you can make up a lie! How completely rude of you. I cannot believe you.”

Me: “Ma’am, as you can tell I’m at Chipotle… Eating. Not at SC… Working.  There is a difference. You sat down at the table I was at, not bothering to ask. Oh and the book (lifting it up to show her), it’s a fiction tale and incredibly awesome.”

Lady: “Oh whatever, your generation is heartless.”

Me: O_o

Why these people find me, I’ll never know! Why me? Seriously, why do I get the random people ?!?

In other news here’s a fun site! http://manbabies.com Here is a teaser:

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Spit shake Amy

Every so often I remember this one time 6 years ago that a friend and I did because we thought it would be cool. Plus we just wanted to understand the whole awesomeness behind it…  My friend Amy and I did a spit shake.  I have to say it was just gross not awesome, I mean the moment we made contact, we just stood their looking at one another with our smiles wiped away and laughter gone, then all at once we made faces of discontent while voicing our dissatisfaction.  We let go of each others hands and made a bee line to a trash can to wipe our hands off… Which after rethinking that, there was a restroom right next to the trash can. We were that desperate.  Sometimes, even still we fondly remember that bad decision… But at least we did it!

Thanks for that, Amy.

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If you are one of the few humans who has no understanding of what a spit shake is…  You spit in your hand and shake. Simple and effectively gross.