I have discovered some small annoyances in my life. They are not major, and I still function just fine with them in my life. But for some reason I feel the need to share them.
1. Douglas & Broadway.
Now to make sense of this for people who don’t live in Wichita, KS or for the ones who don’t drive downtown here is my beef with this intersection. If you are driving south on Broadway and want to make a left turn going east on Douglas, you can’t! Right their on a perfectly even square metal sign shows a curved arrow with the “no symbol”. Yes, I know that if I just take 1st street I wouldn’t deal with it and yes, I know that if I drive just two more blocks going south on Broadway I can take a left on English drive two blocks to Emporia then get right back on Douglas. Or as what others do, just turn left on Douglas from Broadway… Yeah that would be the easiest thing to do, but I have this odd thing that happens to me every time I do something wrong, a cop materializes out of nowhere and pulls me over. So that isn’t an option. Or I could do this dumb law: at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way…. Seems legit.
2. Toilet Paper.
It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing toilet paper! Makes life easy and clean! BUT is it absolutely necessary to use NASA super glue to hold down that first square???!!!???? I went 12 rounds with a roll the other day and let me just say that it looked like a cat went after it! That’s all for that subject.
3. Women + Shoes =
I’ve worked at a shoe store for the past three years, I know a thing or two about shoes. So when this lady asked me for advice on the best running shoe, I showed her some SUPER AWESOME FANTASTIC ones and her reply was; “those are expensive! What do you know anyway! Your just trying to take my money and get commission!” Alright, don’t ask me for advice since I don’t know. Not taking your money… Government is already doing that. If I worked for commission, I think I would be MORE annoying and maybe be not as helpful only because I was wanting to get another customer. And lastly, good luck in your $20.00 walking shoes… I’m sure they will help you in every way when you are running, I’m also certain I will see you again in a month complaining how much your feet hurt and that it was our fault for not helping you. I didn’t say that to the wonderful customer, but that was inner most thoughts at the time.
4. Bill Murray
People who don’t like Bill Murray.
Tonight on my jog everything was going great until I connected with the road… With my face. This is the second time I have tripped and fell, am I doing something wrong while running??
And the reason why I won’t give up running, even though I fail at it is because….
I did absolutely nothing today and I’m feeling fantastic about that! My day involved me having my face in a book and drinking iced coffee at the Perk… During this time, a guy on a motorcycle pulled up to park right in front of me. Getting slightly annoyed with him revving up his bike, I finally looked up and as I’m about to give him a dirty look the skies opened and the angels sang sweet hymns and my jaw dropped. Okay, that might be a bit of an over-statement but this man was a man. It’s hard to describe him but I will give an outline; beard, denim shirt with a leather brown vest over it, some nice jeans, brown cowboy/biker chaps and cowboy boots. He literally looked like he came from some reenactment he did at Cowtown. Regardless I wanted to drop to one and knee and propose to this guy.. If only I had a ring… As I was openly staring at this guy like a high school girl, he walked up to me and ask; “Is the coffee good here?” To which I replied with; “Oh yeah, get the Josh.” Looking at me for a minute he then said no I like girls, laughing I told him it was a drink they had. Sometime later, I was so focused on my book that I didn’t notice handsome standing by his bike. Hearing the roar of his bike startled me out of my trance and when I looked up he said his thanks for suggesting the drink and told me to have a righteous day. Why didn’t I propose!!
Up until 30 minutes ago that was my day, I just got back from my local QuikTrip where I met another fella. However with this one I didn’t want to propose to him. Walking out of QT I see this guy coming towards me, he has on a long black trench coat with black jeans and one boot on. He sees me and declares loudly; “Look at me I’m free!! Young pretty thing will you help me find my shoe, I lost it 5 miles back.” Before I could answer him, a stern voice behind me says; “No, she cannot.” Turing around I see the posted cop that is always at this QT location and give him a smile and a thank you. As I walk back to my truck, shoeless guy is explaining his situation away all the while the cop is smiling and holding back his laughter.
I did take two breaks today from my reading which involved going to Book-a-Holic and going to get this:
I’m a bit STOKED!
Here is to hoping that today and Friday all 3 Kansas teams win! GO KANSAS!
I’m puzzled by a certain mystery that deals with laundry mats… Why are the people that go there dated from 1980? Just as I am puzzled by this, I’m sure the people think the same thing about me. I only bring this up for two reasons, one I spend some time at a laundry mat every Tuesday and two my third favorite hobby is people watching. But they do indeed have that 80’s feel and always look suspicious, eyes darting about.. Course if I had my way I would do my laundry naked, that way it ALL gets done. I can see why their are nudist colonies now… They got it right!
Tonight on my jog, I discovered that listening to Ryan Adams is the best music to run too.. His loud rockness fuels my legs to keep running. Also, exercise has become my fourth hobby.
Relaxation is crucial in life, mainly because I think often we seem to think that one must go go go. So after a weekend packed with work, strange people, loud mothers, and the random creepy guy; I’m entitled to sit here on my awesome green leather chair and listen to the rain while doing nothing!
I will give in details of my weekend starting with strange people… I love them! Without them in our lives we would have nothing to talk about and please don’t take me wrong when I say that. I don’t make fun of them, rather when I see a guy dressed as a woman walking with a baby stroller with a pit bull inside… You tend to strike up a conversation about that. It was either him or the cowboy riding what could be his little sister’s bicycle, they are everywhere and curiously they come out on Sundays. Today at work I had to deal with one, and it wasn’t that he was just strange but his whole approach came off as the world’s biggest creeper. Usually when a customer wants my help they will inform me of it, maybe with a clearing of the throat or a “Hey Ma’am!” This guy, this sunglass leather jacket and white Velcro shoes guy decides to sit down on a chair and just stare. Working my way down and moving to the next aisle over I look up and right there ahead of me on the bench was this guy, staring. Every aisle I went to, he was always there just one step ahead of me. At one point I headed to the bathroom and behind me was the guy following me, that didn’t bother me as much as when I came out of the bathroom the guy was coming out of the men’s. I didn’t like that, I mean he probably heard me pee! We have thin walls… Having grown tired of this, I calmly turned to the guy and asked why he was following me and staring. After about a minute of not saying anything he finally replied; “I need help finding shoes and thought maybe if I followed you around you would finally guide me to the right aisle.” I just turned and pointed to the front door, he got the hint.
Going back to the bathroom bit, earlier that day when I was in the bathroom someone came up and jiggled the handle which is normal. What is not normal is the constant knocking on the door. At this point I had two options, 1. to get out fast and be nice OR 2. stay in there as long as humanly possible… I chose a combo of both, I got out but took my time. When I did come out the lady was right there and proceeded to yell at me for taking so long in the bathroom. My reply was simple: “It’s a public restroom.” Which it is, but it kind of sounded like: “Go poop in the men’s!” She told me I was a rude young lady and needed Jesus. I should have left it alone, I should have shut my mouth and walked away. But I didn’t and here’s why, with a comment like that, that is so easy to play with how could I walk away? So this was my reply; “I did find Jesus years ago, I hope you do to when you poop that demon out.” Even she had to admit that was funny!
Final word, walking like a bow-legged cowboy while trying to get a wedgy out without using my hands is talent.
Mystery beer…. Best .70 cents I ever spent.